Welcome to Making a Monster-(Book) A Fictional work in progress.
Youโve just stepped into the heart of an evolving storyโa creative journey that explores the depths of transformation, humanity, and choice.ย Making a Monsterย is more than just a project; itโs a collaborative experience where your voice shapes the narrative. Learn more donate and become a subscriber
I sit down in this old theater, not entirely sure why Iโm here. The air smells damp, thick with mold and dust. Itโs the kind of place where the cracks in the foundation donโt just let in lightโthey let in time, a creeping, aching kind of time that scans the faded carpet and settles in the corners.
The usher barely acknowledged me. She pointed to my seat without a word, and I followed, brushing the velvet cushion with my hand before sitting down. I donโt know why I did that. Maybe I thought smoothing the fibers would make things feelโฆright. Or maybe I was just stalling.
And then I looked up.
They were staring at me.
The audience. Rows upon rows of faces. Watching. Not the stage, not the empty spotlight. Me.
I realize it all at once, like a cold shock to the spine: Iโm not here to watch a show. I am the show.
The spotlight comes down, bright and unrelenting, and thereโs no escape from it. I sit straighter, try to look composed, but inside Iโm unraveling. What are they thinking? What do they see?
I know what some of you are already thinking. Youโre the critics. The skeptics. The ones whoโve come here to pick me apart before Iโve even said a word. โWhat is this nonsense? Who does he think he is? What could he possibly have to say that matters to me?โ
And youโre not wrong. Who am I, after all? Just another person under the light, fumbling with questions I canโt answer. Just another cracked foundation, another worn-out cushion, another ghost in a theater full of them.
But youโre here. And Iโm here.
I stand up, my legs shaky beneath me. I reach for the microphone, the cold metal rod steady against my trembling grip. Swallowing hard, I take a nervous step forward, the heels of my shoes echoing faintly against the empty stage. I glance over the audience, a sea of faces blurred by the spotlightโs glare. Leaning into the microphone, I take a deep breath and announce,
โLetโs start with a prayer.โ
I bow my head, close my eyes, and begin, my voice steadying with each word.
โOur Father in heaven,
Hallowed be your name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.โ
โMatthew 6:9-10
The prayer ends, and I lift my eyes to the audience. The silence in the room feels alive, as if the prayer itself is still hanging in the air. I take another breath and grip the microphone tighter.
โYou know,โ I say, my voice quieter now, almost confessional, โI just canโt get past โYour will be done.โโ
I pause, scanning the room. โTell me, what does that mean to you? Because hereโs where Iโm stuck: if God is the Creator, if He made me, gave me my parents, my surroundings, my experiencesโevery piece of the puzzle that makes me who I amโthen when I act, even if itโs monstrous, am I not still doing His will?โ
A murmur ripples through the audience, and I raise my hand, motioning for quiet. โThink about Pharaoh. God hardened his heart, didnโt He? So, did Pharaoh have a choice? Was his cruelty really his own? Or was he just fulfilling a role in a story already written?โ
I take a step back from the microphone, letting the question settle. Then I lean in again, locking eyes with a few in the front row. โAnd what about Moses? He argued with God, resisted His commands, but in the end, he obeyed. Was that really his choice? Or was he just another player in the same divine script?โ
I step away from the microphone and pace the stage, the weight of my words pressing down on me. โAnd then thereโs me,โ I say, turning back to the audience. โWhat about me? If Iโve been made into what I amโif Iโm a monster, and I do monster thingsโam I not still doing His will?โ
The room is silent now, the kind of silence that feels like itโs holding its breath.
โSo,โ I say, stepping back to the microphone, โwhat do you think? Is it all Godโs will? Or do we have a say in who we are and what we do?โ
I glance at the audience one more time, then lean into the microphone with a faint, almost defiant smile. โLetโs talk about it.โ
Making a Monster-Fiction ยฉ 2024 Theodore Perry. All rights reserved.
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